We were given a DVD in a bag of stuff from the hospital, which also seems to play in a loop in the hospital waiting room. It was all about having a baby, oh, and all the stuff that Certain Companies sell for babies.
The whole thing was put together in a chatty talk-show format, hosted in a beige set by a woman with far too much eyebrow activity for my liking. Too often I was watching them rise and fall at odd points in her sentences.
There’s also a scene where a mother demonstrates the delights of an electric breast pump… Does that sound to anyone else like a strange way of trying to enhance one’s cup size?
So, what did we learn children?
Firstly, that my partner is nesting which made her make me watch this.
Second, happy people with happy babies have happy brand-name baby stuff.
Third, the colour of your nursery is important and should be the first thing you do.
Fourth, it’s probably a good idea to learn Baby CPR!
Right, probably no the best source of information… I think I’d have taken it more seriously if it had been recorded in an a baby’s room at 3AM by a bleary-eyed mother, whose outfit was covered in stains and fresh baby vomit. With the father being asleep on the floor from exhaustion, so out of it he gets used as a change table and doesn’t even stir…